News update!NASA impregnates moon! It shoved its space phallus into the awaiting loins of the throbbing moongina. It took us almost 120 days to get in the mood, but when we did, we pushed in hard and made our sexy business known.
Many will claim that we are looking for ice and water underneath the moon's surface. Still others will decry our actions as "bombing" the moon out of contempt or in an effort to find spacegold. And perhaps a few think it's a moon-landing-like hoax.
But make no mistake. We are inseminating the moon. We will raise new moons from infancy to do our bidding. When at last we have several dozen fully grown moons with extensive military training, we shall launch them against our enemies throughout the solar system. Triton must fall! So must Mars for taunting us with its weak atmosphere and lack of pyramids! Even the sun will think twice about ballooning to several times its size in the far future.
I'm trying to uncover whether Barack Obama's new Peace Prize will have a moon-control device. If you have any information as to the physical consistency of the prize and what past Peace Prizes have been able to manipulate, tell me in all CAPS lettering.
