A friend of mine from college got in contact with me recently (I'm starting to get really nervous about being on Facebook). She and I went on a date or two before she hooked up with the guy she's now married to. THAT guy dated a girl before I dated HER for about a year. And THAT GIRL is now married. The latter girl just gave birth to a kid, and the former girl is pregnant now.
Why is everyone pregnant? And when they're done being pregnant, why do they have a kid? Or kids?
Even the men are pregnant. We all used to punch each other in the stomachs specifically to prove there were no babies in there. Just beer and accidentally swallowed cigarettes. Now it's all "lean in close and you can hear it kicking."
The hell with that! The hell with your babies! You are all swollen with pride and preformed humans!
And why must you flaunt your babyness? Why must you take pictures in front of sunsets and go to Lamaze? Why must you scream in pain when you deliver them? Why don't you show some respect and pass them softly and meekly like secret farts? They can waft away and no one will be the wiser... then we can all be young again.
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I agree wholeheartedly with this anti-procreation statement. So-called "babies" are nothing more than undersized people who shit themselves publicly and then cry for all to hear. Well, I'm sorry, that kind of behavior may well be tolerated in Cleveland (Cleveland joke) but not HERE! In AMERICA!!!! Where I LIVE...With my THINGS and WHATNOT. I think you know what I'm saying.
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